The Divine Secrets of a Southern Diva

Today no one was at work. Between the flu and vacations and sales training and whatever else it was a ghost town. So me and Neal (the two people with no vehicles) were all “Let’s go to lunch! And lets go someplace we have to drive to!”.

Fail.

So, Neal’s all “We can take the bus!”. Hi. I’m from Kingwood. We don’t have buses there unless you ride one of them fancy commuter ones or a school bus. I have never in the 23 years I’ve lived in Houston ridden the bus.  So, Neal figures out the schedule and whatnot and off we go.

We wait. It was late. We start questioning ourselves. “Are we at the right stop? Should we go to one down the street? Are big losers?” Finally it came. And you know what? Not bad. Air conditioned. Took us almost right to the restaurant. We didn’t die.

We celebrated with fried pickles.

Biggest drawback? Waiting in the heat. Other than that, I’d do it again.  I feel like such an urbanite! Even in a car-riddled city like Houston.

Other things:

Dancing with the Stars: I was totally sad to see Lil’ Kim go. She wanted to win so bad. And she came off so sweet! So not the ghetto, pastie-wearing ex-con I imagined! I think Ty Murry is adorable, but homey can’t dance. Come on, y’all.

Idol: WTF Paula? I equate that crazy shit with Brit-Brit’s VMA drug-haze performance from a couple of years ago. I LOVED PAULA back in the day. She had serious moves. I still think that quadruple switch-foot pirouette she did in the Cold Hearted video was one of the greatest dance moves, ever.  See?

Her performance was so SAD! She had no precision, no pop. It was like she was sleep-walking through that. Sleep walking while lip-syncing.

And Gwen Stefani? I LOVE HER. Why did she do that? She’s grown-ass woman with two kids, y’all.  It just looked like she was trying to re-live 1996. 13 years, man. That’s a whole sassy-mouthed teenager. You just can’t pull off “I’m Just A Girl” with a ridiculous faux-punk look at 39 with 2 kids and a designer clothing line complete with signature fragrance.

As for the actual contestants, I’m glad Gokey stayed even though he butchered both songs. I wish it would have been Chris going home, though. I liked Allison.

Also, I promised an Easter blog but it’s been so long I just can’t commit an entire one for it. So, we played games. We drank. We ate crawfish and alligator. MIKE ate alligator and didn’t hate it. (Crawfish is next!!! I will make him a Cajun before it’s over. Much to his chagrin.) The kids got tons of Easter goodies and went on an Easter egg hunt (in plain sight).

Here’s a few pics. Click for the full size! (Mike was the photographer so he’s not in any. Sadface.)

Also, I set up a Tumblr account if any of you darling readers have one, please add me: http://diva-ali.tumblr.com/

For those who don’t know what that is, lemme explain. It’s sort of in-between Twitter and a blog. You get a feed like Twitter and you have followers but you can post as much as you want in a post along with pics and videos- but only one per post. You don’t have comments or anything, though. You can have a small answer box, but it only has like 140 characters. You can “heart” each post if you like it and it’s called notes. And really that’s it. It’s just another time-suck and way to whore myself.  I like it so far.

Alright, I’m out. I promise to blog more. PROMISE.

Hugs,
-Ali