The Divine Secrets of a Southern Diva

When I first created this blog, the plan was to blog almost daily. We see how well that worked out. But life is fuckin’ crazy right now, y’all! I’m so tired that I’m having trouble sleeping. It’s stupid.

I mean, I moved a month ago. And in that time, I packed, moved, and unpacked. I repainted my living room, dining room, hallway (5 coats of paint), and bedroom. I scrubbed like a mad woman, decorated and got settled. I went to the Brett Micheals concert, to Louisiana for Savannah’s shower, to Rebecca’s baby shower, out for Rachel’s birthday, and to my moms for Easter. I’ve had dinners out, spent a weekend working on my taxes and found time to shop a bit. Oh, and I worked. I took a whopping 1 day off this whole time. I need to slow my fucking roll.

So, hopefully, I’ll be able to slow down and post more.

Hopefully.

Friday night, sweet, soft-spoken Rachel from work had her birthday party. She turned 23! She wanted to go to a club! Did I mention I’m about to turn 33? I haven’t been to a club in years. But it was an 80′s club, so I held out hope.

Dude. DUDE. The 80′s room was full of sad forty-somethings looking to pick up whatever other sad soul they could find in there. Some of them were AWESOME. There was a dude who looked like he was in his mid-fifties doing some sort of crazy hip-hop, street dancing weird… dance. I don’t know how to describe it. At one point he was humping the floor and then he was hanging upside down from the railing. There was a dude who looked sixty staring intently at every woman that passed and doing some hopping thing. Actually there was a lot of hopping. Some dude dressed in 80′s “new wave” was doing some kick thing. Then there was the Bobbsey Twins (dude and a chick) wearing all black with some sort of silver studded belts and doing choreography. There was some chick in her 40′s with pancake titties and a V-neck cut down to her navel. Oh and one in a see-through black net shirt with a black bra and miniskirts. Did I mention she was chubby? I mean, as IF. I forgot my camera, too.

Now, the people watching was great, but we were all fabulous making the night a riot. First of all, the dumbass DJ was playing 80′s industrial music. I told him to “stop the bitchassness” and play some good shit. He argued with me stating that this is what played at Club 6400, the hottest club in Houston in the 80′s! I laughed because I was in middle school for that hey-day and apparently he lived it. I told him and said that people don’t come to an 80′s club for that shit- they wanna hear the music they jammed to in their bedrooms. And I made him feel stupid and so he began the Madonna hotness.

We danced and danced. Mikey even came out and danced to Karma Kameleon and Beat it.
I Vogued with the birthday girl and Mike snapped a pic of us with his phone.

Then we moved on to the “pop” room. Basically the teenie bopper type music room. I actually danced to Soldja Boy. Um. Ok. Some chick from KRBE was here and put Rachel on the radio because it was her birthday.

DJ: What’s your name?
Rachel: Rachel.
DJ: Is it your birthday?
Rachel: Yes.
DJ: What’s your name?
Me: Ali
DJ: Are you her best friend?
Me: Sure.

Now, Rachel is a sweet girl but we’ve only been working together for a couple of months and this is our first time out together. I got to work today to an IM “Hey new bff!” Hilarious. We did get free drinks out of it. Some concoction in a tumbler that was all booze and a splash of coke. It was kinda tasty and I sucked mine dry. After about 6 vodka cranberries and some wine with dinner.

And let me say, Miss Rachel ain’t so quiet and reserved. Girl’s got a little ghetto in her and I love it. The other Katie that I worked with showed up, as well. (That’s the Katie that replaced Erin [awww Erin. HUGS]. Not my manager/Yarnlove/Knit Free Or Die Katie. ) She showed up, but it she was late and I’m impatient. I sent her an email from my blackberry. (Remember she’s the PR Manager). It said:

Subject: Press Release STAT

Employees from The Planet are involved in a 3 alarm fire caused by a dude dancing his ass off in an orange shirt. Witnesses say that the fire started from his awesome display of athletic prowess while dangling from the bar.The fire could have been avoided had Katie Solan been present.

Please stop the bitchassness.

She showed up 5 minutes later.

I think Mike may have won a chance to play Pinko and win a trip to Mexico or something. I don’t know. I had a blast, though.

Fabulous:

The rest of the weekend was working on the house. We painted our bedroom Friday and my family came over to help with the kitchen and hallway. Well. My parents helped, Sarah and Charlie hung out. It’s ok. They brought the baby.

First, I want to show you what the hallway and the piece of furniture we have in it looked like before we got our grubby hands on it. Electric red walls and a 1970′s chest of drawers with big brass handles.

So we painted it what was supposed to be a soft, creamy yellow. It turned out to be sunshine in a can. We wanted to tone it down. Mom and I mixed paint and did some craziness and it actually turned out pretty cool. It has the look of an old weathered wall. Sort of. The end result:

The kitchen was a lovely institutional blue/gray. I had to pick out a color that went with my decor, the gray counter tops and the honey cabinets. So I chose a color called “Dawn”. It’s basically cream with a hint of coffee. I love it.

And the bedroom was blah tan and now is a soft, soft olive. We still need artwork to really finish that room. And some new furniture. The room is so freakin’ huge. I’m gonna get a vanity for sure.

So, now we just need to work on the office and organize it. Once we do that and can hang the rest of our collectibles and art, the place will be all put together except for odds and ends. And I could not be happier.

I need rest. Maybe a nice spa day.

-Eyes burning.
Ali