Day 1: Ali and Dianne Conquer THE WORLD
Well, Houston? My neighborhood?
Let’s get real: its my living room.
ANYWHO, I’m drunker than Cooter Brown, Joaquin Phoenix and your mom combined.
Things we did today:
Drank.
Ate.
Played with my niece Madeline.
Had lunch and met the Water Nazi at California Pizza Kitchen.
Saw a crazy fool asking for antibiotics for his hand over the counter at CVS. He didn’t believe the manager when they said they wouldn’t do that, so he kept asking folks in the store. He didn’t have no “Dr.’s note”.
Saw the acoustic guitar player in my foo-foo River Oaks Kroger. With his speakers and shit. Cuz, really- I want to pay more for my groceries so some fancy dude can sing covers of James Taylor and Shania Twain.
Tried to grill some burgers but my mothafuckin’ bag of charcoal was giving us the ol’ FUCK YOU and decided not to light. Which angered an already cranky Mike. So I made burgers in the oven and they were surprisingly delish.
Went to The Chocolate Bar on W. Alabama and had some nommy chocolate.
Watched the finals of Dancing With The Stars and threw a fit because the judges SUCK and they all want to stick their penises in Brooke Burke. Even Carrie Ann. You know that biotch has a dick. LANCE AND LACEY FTW!
Other than that we laughed a lot.
Tomorrow is wine night at a restaurant by my house with Kristen and Sarah. Possible video if I can snake out the flip video.
Falling into a drunken hazy sleep…
-Ali
YOU CRACK ME UP! I can’t wait for tomorrow. NO VIDEO.
Dude, we did a LOT of shit today… not bad for two people with very little sleep, huh? Scary to think of what will happen tomorrow once we’re rested! Look out, Houston peeps… we’re comin’, we’re drinkin’, and we’re bloggin’.
)
You failed to mention the pink dip. Cuz really, it’s ALL about the pink dip!
YAY for being in Houston!
) This week is gonna be AWESOME! <3
GOOOOOOOOOO LANCEY!
Cracks. Me. Up.