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	<title>The Divine Secrets of a Southern Diva &#187; TV</title>
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	<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog</link>
	<description>Observations drenched in chocolate, best enjoyed with a fine wine.</description>
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		<title>Things that aren&#8217;t right with the world.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/things-that-arent-right-with-the-world/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/things-that-arent-right-with-the-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:16:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Movies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=701</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Miley Cyrus is going to be in the Sex In The City movie. What in the fuck? Why must you spoil my bff homage to all things awesome with that little twat? A piece of my soul just dried up and shriveled. New season of Celebrity Apprentice starring Brett Michaels and Rod  Blagojevich. That&#8217;s the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong> Miley Cyrus is going to be in the Sex In The City movie. </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">What in the <em>fuck?</em> Why must you spoil my bff homage to all things awesome with that little twat? A piece of my soul just dried up and shriveled.</p>
<p><strong>New season of Celebrity Apprentice starring Brett Michaels and Rod  Blagojevich.</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">That&#8217;s the folliclely challenged leading the folliclely challenged. If you don&#8217;t know who<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Blagojevich"> Rod Blagojevich</a> is, he&#8217;s the loser Illinois governor who tried to sell Obama&#8217;s senate seat after he was elected president. And Brett, well, there are some hot chicks on the show, so maybe he&#8217;s confused and thinks he&#8217;s getting his pee-pee sucked on another edition of Rock of Love. Either way, absolute fuckery will ensue. Rod is a crazy mother. I saw him on The Daily Show. Outrageous. This just gives John Stewart more fodder.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cindy Lauper and Sharon Osbourne are also on the show.  GOD I hope Sharon and Rod get into it and she dumps a red drink on his fluffy mountain of hair.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px; text-align: left;"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://dlisted.com/files/imagecache/photo-preview/files/galleries/spl132682_002.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="400" /></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">
<p><strong>This picture of Fergy, because, ew. EW a thousand times.</strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://dlisted.com/files/fuggieperfume1.jpg" alt="" width="445" height="600" /></p>
<p><strong>Bones, House and Fringe are going away until November and baseball post season is over. </strong></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px; text-align: left;">Total sadness. Bones and Booth are thisclose to making out again and they pause. SAD. And I love Fringe. And House, too! Honestly, I feel Fox is hating on me a little even though I watch something on that network nearly every damn night of the week. CRY. Lets look at an Agent Booth  picture to soothe our pain, shall we?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px; text-align: left;"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://images.buddytv.com/articles/David-Boreanaz-Bones_l.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="400" /></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Ah, that&#8217;s better. Somewhat.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>I&#8217;m still on a freakin&#8217; wait-list on Netflix for How I  Met Your Mother season 4.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I realize everyone wants to watch that awesome show (especially since the world has a boner right now for NPH), but Netflix needs to sack-up and get more copies. It&#8217;s been out for 3 damn weeks! So now, I&#8217;m just storing all of season 5 on my damn DVR until I can watch it. Eff, eff, a. thousand. times. eff.  Do you know how hard it is not to read spoilers, man? SO HARD.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>One thing that&#8217;s definately right with the world? </strong>My niece playing on her new swing-set/fort thingy.</p>
<p style="text-align: left; padding-left: 30px;"><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-703" title="mad-fort" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/mad-fort-1024x768.jpg" alt="mad-fort" width="502" height="377" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
<p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://houstonunfiltered.tumblr.com/"><strong>Houston. Unfiltered.</strong></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">This is a new tumblr blog that Mike and I have started. It&#8217;s dedicated all things Houston-things we capture on our cell phone cameras, food we eat and the interesting people we meet along the way. It will be a little less sassy (and curse-word riddled) and more artsy and informative. Why? Well, why not.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">If you have a tumblr account, start following us or simply add us to your rss feed!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Well, it&#8217;s taco time. Mmmm, tacos. Mike&#8217;s been begging for them so I need to get my cook on.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Adios amigos.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">-Ali</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">
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		<title>It&#8217;s Jeanine FOR THE WIN.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/its-jeanine-for-the-win/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/its-jeanine-for-the-win/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:25:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=647</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[She sold me on that solo. GOD, the pirouettes into a paused attitude.  Hello?! THAT alone should make her the winner. And that PASO.  Katie Swick, THAT is what I&#8217;m talking about when I say Paso is my favorite Latin Dance. That was easily the best I&#8217;d ever seen. I think Brandon was great. I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-648" title="jeanine" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/jeanine.jpg" alt="jeanine" width="400" height="499" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">She sold me on that solo. GOD, the pirouettes into a paused attitude.  Hello?! THAT alone should make her the winner. And that PASO.  Katie Swick, <em>THAT</em> is what I&#8217;m talking about when I say Paso is my favorite Latin Dance. That was easily the best I&#8217;d ever seen.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I think Brandon was great. I think Kayla was great. I think Evan was decent. His dance with Brandon really showed his weakness, I thought. GOD HELP ME IF HE WINS. I&#8217;d be ok with anyone else beating Jeanine but not him. She just draws my attention no matter who is on stage with her. She&#8217;s got really strong features and just this presence. Plus, I dig her eyebrows. I know, that&#8217;s a weird thing to focus on, but they are black and thick and perfect. Just like her hair.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I&#8217;m not sure how I feel about them in the Kodak theater. On one hand, I love that the show has gained so much popularity that the finale can be in there but on the other it seemed to be distracting. I didn&#8217;t like the red everywhere. I think it took away from the dancers. The think I love so much about the SYTYCD set is that it&#8217;s a light silvery gray that lets the dancers and the costumes pop. That kinda got lost there.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">But WHATEVS. Jeanine should win. Final. Done. THE END. I have spoken.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">In other news, I partied like I was 22 on Saturday and I&#8217;m so <strong>NOT</strong> 22. You can peruse the pics below. It was loads of fun. I&#8217;ve been hearing around the office that some people are sad they weren&#8217;t invited but I DIDN&#8217;T DO THE INVITING, MAN! So Kristy and I will take it upon ourselves to plan a monthly outing with everyone who could ever possibly want to go and get their Karaoke on.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I also wrote a blog for work over social media. <a href="http://blog.theplanet.com/2009/07/31/the-social-scene-revisited/">Go check it out.</a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And Mikey&#8217;s birthday is this weekend. My family is coming over for dinner Saturday and Sunday we are going to dinner at Josephines. It&#8217;s this delicious traditional Italian restaurant, just like in the movies. The name is over the front door in cursive, the table clothes are red and white check and Italian music serenades you as you eat. And omg THE CANOLES. Faboo. We&#8217;ll have to get some photos when we are there because they don&#8217;t even have a website (the horror!).</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Enjoy the pics!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">-Ali</p>

<a href='http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/its-jeanine-for-the-win/picture-100-2/' title='Picture 100'><img width="150" height="150" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Picture-1001-150x150.jpg" class="attachment-thumbnail" alt="Picture 100" title="Picture 100" /></a>
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		<title>Oh, Katie Holmes. You made Dawson cry.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/oh-katie-holmes-you-made-dawson-cry/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/oh-katie-holmes-you-made-dawson-cry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:54:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=619</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN&#8217;T WATCHED THE RESULTS SHOW OF SYTYCD (AND YOU CARE) SHUT THIS HO DOWN NOW. Cuz there&#8217;s spoilers &#8216;n shit. 100th episode! Big Katie Holmes buildup! The performance was ok. Singing was ok. Dancing was ok for as much as she actually did. I mean, that was EASY shit.  However, I&#8217;d have [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN&#8217;T WATCHED THE RESULTS SHOW OF SYTYCD (AND YOU CARE) SHUT THIS HO DOWN NOW</strong>. Cuz there&#8217;s spoilers &#8216;n shit.</p>
<p>100th episode! Big Katie Holmes buildup! The performance was ok. Singing was ok. Dancing was ok for as much as she actually did. I mean, that was EASY shit.  However, I&#8217;d have actually been proud of that crap<strong> HAD SHE DONE IT LIVE</strong>. And they tried to make you think she was! With the obvious video then cutting away to the performance on the actually SYTYCD stage that was actually pre-taped. That was such build up for nothing. It&#8217;s like pre-mature ejaculation. So much excitement, so little satisfaction.</p>
<p>And Jeanette and Jason left! SAD. FACE. SAD, SAD FACE! I was fully expecting Kayla and Brandon. I would have been ok with that. But NOT Spicy Tamale and Pretty Feet! NO NO NO.</p>
<p>*sigh*</p>
<p>On an up note, someone posted this on Facebook. I need y&#8217;all to vote. Should Mike and I rock this when we actually cough up the cash to do the big deed? Sarah? What do you think?</p>
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<p>Boogie&#8217;n my ass to bed&#8230; well, watching Buffy then making with the boogie&#8217;n.<br />
-Ali</p>
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		<item>
		<title>I Just Can&#8217;t Pick One</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/i-just-cant-pick-one/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/i-just-cant-pick-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:04:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=613</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The dancers on So You Think You Can Dance are so fucking amazing. Normally by this point I&#8217;d see a clear winner emerging. But this year? SERIOUSLY, people. Tonight&#8217;s dances were just ok until the last few. Then it was like BAM! Out come Jeanine and Brandon and change the game. The war dance was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The dancers on So You Think You Can Dance are so fucking amazing. Normally by this point I&#8217;d see a clear winner emerging. But this year? SERIOUSLY, people.</p>
<p>Tonight&#8217;s dances were just ok until the last few. Then it was like BAM! Out come Jeanine and Brandon and change the game. The war dance was so great. The intensity and the power.</p>
<p>Then there was Tyce&#8217;s ode to breast cancer. I mean, really, <em>really</em> RI-DIC-U-LOUS. The concept, the execution the <em>everything</em>. Not only was the choerography and the message moving, he had the two perfect dancers to perform it. Ade, the powerhouse embodyment of strength and Melissa, the delicate, pasty white ballerina as the patient. Truly, truly amazing.</p>
<p>And then the Shane Sparks hip-hop that ended the show with Kayla and Jason. So great! The popping was hard, they were totally in sync and in character. Just perfection.</p>
<p>Until I saw the Tyce routine I thought for sure Melissa was out of there but now I don&#8217;t know. The girls are all so good! Really, Jeanine is so strong and dances like she IS the dance. Kayla can simply do anything plus she&#8217;s stunning. I would eat babies to have her legs. Janette is a little spicy tamale that can do any damn thing you give her. And Melissa just did a routine that made freakin&#8217; Nigel cry. I mean, OH MY DAMN.</p>
<p>And the dudes? I&#8217;m still not sold on Evan as a partner. I think he&#8217;d be great on Broadway, but in partner dancing and over all? No. Ade? Holy mother of chocolate is he fantastic.  He&#8217;s cool and smooth and giant and he just throws those chicks around like they are dolls. His flips and jumps and kicks are incredible. And he&#8217;s got this sweetness about him. Brandon is a fantastic dancer, but I can&#8217;t put my finger on what I don&#8217;t like about him. Just something bugs me, but he is amazing. And Jason is so effin&#8217; cute and sweet and his technique is fabulous. He&#8217;s got the best feet on a dude I&#8217;ve seen since Travis.</p>
<p>So, who do I pick? I don&#8217;t know. They are all fucking fabulous. Can we split the prize, like, 8 ways?</p>
<p>Also, fair warning! I may have a new TV addiction. I watched the first two episodes of Mad Men and I love it. Whoever the creator and producer is, I tip my hat. The sets and the clothing and the authenticity of the time is WILD. I love it. And, after seeing that, if I lived in the 1950&#8242;s, I might have gone to jail for knocking the shit out of asshole sexist men. There is one scene where the head steno chick is showing a new girl around the steno pool. She rips off the cover of a typewriter to reveal it and an intercom. She tells the new girl something like &#8220;I know it looks high-tech and complicated, but it&#8217;s really not. They make them simple enough for women to understand.&#8221; And everyone smokes everywhere. It&#8217;s so odd to see.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to leave you with this for <strong>Katie</strong>. She&#8217;s officially a Bones fan and wants lick David Boreanez. I&#8217;m turning people, one at a time. mwahahahaha.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-614" title="boreanaz5" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/boreanaz5.jpg" alt="boreanaz5" width="405" height="640" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Lick lick-<br />
Ali</p>
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		<title>Fabulous.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/fabulous/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/fabulous/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:27:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=607</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[That&#8217;s me. And lots of other plus-size chicks. Big chicks. &#8220;Real women&#8221;. What-the-fuck-ever you want to label us. Personally, I like to call us women.  You know, with breasts and hips and high-heels. Some of us have sass and some of us have shampoo-commercial hair. You see us every day, walking past you at the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>That&#8217;s me. And lots of other plus-size chicks. Big chicks. &#8220;Real women&#8221;. What-the-fuck-ever you want to label us.</p>
<p>Personally, I like to call us <em>women</em>.  You know, with breasts and hips and high-heels. Some of us have sass and some of us have shampoo-commercial hair. You see us every day, walking past you at the mall, in your office or on the bus. We come  in all shapes and sizes and colors. Some of us are funny and super-smart. Some of us are nurturing. Some of are big balls of fun. And some of us are all of the above. And I know all of this because I <strong><em>am</em></strong> all of this.</p>
<p>So, it totally irks my cheese to see a show like <a href="http://www.fox.com/moretolove/"><em>More To Love</em></a>.   It&#8217;s basically The Bachelor for fat kids. The premise of the show is for &#8220;real women&#8221; find their perfect love with this bachelor&#8230; a guy who likes big women. A guy who is also big. It&#8217;s the nerd fraternity of dating shows. As if no one else would date these people but their own kind. Its like TV execs wanted to throw the fat kids a pity-fuck. Might as well have called it <em> Omega Mu of Love.</em> (Mad respect to all who get that ref.)</p>
<p>I&#8217;d said on Facebook that I wasn&#8217;t going to be watching, but I&#8217;ve changed my mind. I&#8217;d like to know what kind of women they chose for the show. If it&#8217;s a bunch of whiny I-hate-myselves, I&#8217;m going to barf. I mean, I&#8217;ve seen the previews. They are all beautiful. But why are they there? What makes them think they need to go on some gimmicky TV show? If they want to get into to TV and think this is how, I&#8217;d actually respect that more than thinking they were going to find true love. But I get the feeling from some of the tearful previews that these chicks are clinging to this as some last hope. The ridiculous come-on lines they giving the guy, the crying about finding themselves. Like, you really need to make a fool of yourself on national TV to do that? On a show that is ridiculing and demoralizing who you are?</p>
<p>Since high school, I&#8217;ve been a size 11+. Since I was about 18, I&#8217;ve never had an issue getting male attention. The guys weren&#8217;t always great, but that&#8217;s a different lesson for another blog. (I learned all about finding good ones way later in life.) The point is, I didn&#8217;t sit at home crying in my ice-cream about not getting dates because I was getting them. Cute guys, funny guys, hot guys, smart guys, dumb guys&#8230; I dated all sorts.  The older I got, the more confidence and wisdom I had the easier it was. I&#8217;m at the biggest I&#8217;ve ever been in my life right now and I still get it. It&#8217;s not just men, it&#8217;s from people in general.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s not to say I don&#8217;t have any insecurities. God, no. Just because I accept them doesn&#8217;t mean I&#8217;m ok with them. Do I wish I was fit? Yes. Do I wish I had better hair? Yes. Do I wish I were taller? Yes. But those insecurities don&#8217;t define me and they certainly don&#8217;t hold me back. I walk into a room and I own it because I believe in myself. I know I&#8217;m funny and I&#8217;m smart and I&#8217;m creative. I know my strengths and use them, both in my personality and my appearance. I do thinks that make me feel good and I&#8217;m happy being me.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not writing this to brag about my awesomeness, so please don&#8217;t take it that way. I just don&#8217;t know how to help other women who have self-esteem issues to get past them to see their <em>own</em> awesomeness. I actually get asked for advice on this a lot. I wish I could snap my fingers and make them see how amazing THEY are and to be able to feel for a moment what it&#8217;s like to believe in yourself and really, truly love themselves insecurities, faults and all.</p>
<p>So a show like this just pisses me off to all levels of pistivity. What I&#8217;d like to see is plus-sized, beautiful, confident ladies competing against socially-acceptable sized, beautiful, confident ladies for a man. The dude needs to be a catch- cute, funny, successful and most of all, a great big heart. No arrogant douchebags or self-pitying sad puppy types. Let them all compete for his affections and let the best woman win. THAT&#8217;S reality, my friends. Well, also 20 chicks aren&#8217;t usually competing for the same guy unless you live in Alaska&#8230; but I think it&#8217;s the other way around there. ANYWAY, I think that sort of show where women of all sizes are seen as equals and not classed differently would do a lot more for women&#8217;s self esteem concerning body issues than this dumb-ass show.</p>
<p><em><strong>Sidebar:</strong> I typed &#8220;pistivity&#8221; and my spell check didn&#8217;t catch it. So I go to Merriam-Webster and sure enough, it&#8217;s a word. I totally thought it was just a funny Ali-ism I made up years ago. Ya always learn something new reading my blogs.</em></p>
<p><em><strong>Double side bar:</strong> So, I haven&#8217;t been blogging lately and I don&#8217;t know why. I just haven&#8217;t felt all bloggy lately. Which is weird. At this rate, I&#8217;ll be taking over the internet wearing depends and false teeth. I&#8217;m going to try to make an effort to blog more regularly. Y&#8217;all should tell me what kinds of topics y&#8217;all want to read. I&#8217;ll try to accommodate. </em></p>
<p>As for me, here are some highlights from the last couple of months:</p>
<ul>
<li>I had a birthday- the big 3-4. Officially mid-thirties now.  Mikey got me my very own full set of Buffy DVD&#8217;s along with some other cute little things AND Sugarbaby&#8217;s cupcakes. It was a nice birthday. Megan and Kristen took me out one night to Benjy&#8217;s and my parents took me out to Italianos.</li>
<li>We&#8217;ve been planning our vacation to go &#8220;down the shore&#8221; as the Jersey folk say. SO excited!</li>
<li>I&#8217;ve been re-watching Bones and drooling over David Boreanaz while Mike screams out &#8220;HIYOID!&#8221; as in &#8220;HI-OH&#8221; Ed McMahan/Brett Michaels style every time they mention that particular bone. And I always crack up.</li>
<li>Kristen spent 4th of July weekend with us. We pretty much ate and drank our way through it. And watched Bones.</li>
<li>I saw my old college friend Marna that I reconnected with through Facebook this weekend which was hoot. We&#8217;re gonna do drinks and dinner soon. Hopefully. And maybe Terry will join us.</li>
<li>Mike has a couple of clients he&#8217;s doing some cool projects for. I hope they can turn into something big.</li>
<li>My sister and my sister-in-law are both pregnant and due in January about a week or so apart. It&#8217;s like baby-fest around here.</li>
<li>My niece has learned that every one drinks beer and she drinks water. &#8220;Madeline, what&#8217;s daddy drinking?&#8221; &#8220;Beewr!&#8221; I love that so hard.</li>
<li> She also loves my purse, bracelets and blackberry. She has to wear my bracelet while taking everything out of my purse and handing it to me, then put it all back in. And apparently she has a shoe fetish. She got her first pair of Nike Shox and begs to wear them. She picks them out over all other shoes and walks around showing them to everyone pointing at her foot in the air saying &#8220;shoes!&#8221;. Seriously, she&#8217;s only 18 months old. I LOVE it.</li>
<li> She also loves Mike. She calls him &#8220;Dee-dee&#8221;. We don&#8217;t know why. But she loves to say his name over and over again. &#8220;Hiiiii Dee Dee!&#8221; Until he responds to her. Or Sarah will call me and tell her it&#8217;s me and she&#8217;s screaming &#8220;Hiiii Dee-dee!&#8221; even if he&#8217;s not with me. She&#8217;ll finally say my name but Dee-dee is always first.</li>
<li>Sarah and I spent the afternoon doing lunch, a mani/pedi and the chocolate store. The perfect day for a pregnant lady and her chubby sister. I had a blast.</li>
</ul>
<p>So, I think you are all caught up with me. Catch me up on you, ok?</p>
<p>WARNING: Next blog will most likely be filled with So You Think You Can Dance. Because it&#8217;s the greatest show on TV right now. (Except for Bones but that&#8217;s more because I want to lick David Boreanaz.)</p>
<p>Hugs,<br />
Ali</p>
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		<title>Oh, HELL No.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/oh-hell-no/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/oh-hell-no/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2009 02:55:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=588</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is some stupid fuckery right here. A new Buffy movie without Joss Whedon or any of the Buffy cast and made by the same dumbasses that produced the first movie. Dear Hollywood, I know you fuckers have very little original ideas and hell, I&#8217;m all for revamping some old franchise and breathing life into [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-589" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" title="buffycast" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/buffycast.jpg" alt="buffycast" width="300" height="329" /><strong><a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i666afabc28491e6a5d5861d83ae30855"> This is some stupid fuckery right here.</a></strong></p>
<p>A new Buffy movie without Joss Whedon or any of the Buffy cast and made by the same dumbasses that produced the first movie.</p>
<p>Dear Hollywood,</p>
<p>I know you fuckers have very little original ideas and hell, I&#8217;m all for revamping some old franchise and breathing life into it. HOWEVER, BUFFY ISN&#8217;T DEAD YET. ASSHOLES.</p>
<p>The premise is based on the idea that &#8220;unto each generation a slayer is born&#8221;. Meaning they can make a brand new slayer with new Scoobies and all would be copacetic. I&#8217;d be down with that, oh, in about 20 years or so.</p>
<p>However, they are still playing out Buffy Season 8 in comic books.  And Angel After the Fall. And Spike just got a new book. The series has only been gone for 5 years. And Joss won&#8217;t be writing it. That&#8217;s some <em>bull</em>shit.</p>
<p>Furthermore, how the hell can you have a Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie with NO GOD DAMN BUFFY?</p>
<p>This is my favorite part: <em>The new &#8220;Buffy&#8221; film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching &#8220;Star Trek.&#8221; </em></p>
<p>Um. Star Trek was OLD. And the original cast is OLD. Some are gone. And it has seen several reincarnations already. And this was the first movie that made substantial money in the history of ever for that franchise. And JJ Abrahms kept the same characters and told their story from a different perspective.</p>
<p>THIS IS SO NOT THE SAME THING YOU FUCKING JACKASSES.</p>
<p>They are trampling on sacred ground, here. I will not have it. I would like to barf on their heads. While kicking them repeatedly.</p>
<p>It is my personal mission to stop this ridiculous shit.</p>
<p>-Ali</p>
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		<title>I&#8217;m Back, Bitches.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/im-back-bitches/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/im-back-bitches/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 May 2009 04:12:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/?p=538</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Missed me? You better have! So&#8230; we are at a new domain: www.southerndivasecrets.com .  A new little home for my lovely little blog. You might be wondering why. Well, lemme tell you, sugar. Basically my old hosting company blew and I lost the domains. That&#8217;s really it. And really, I needed a better domain. The-Spout [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Missed me? You better have!</p>
<p>So&#8230; we are at a new domain: <a href="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com">www.southerndivasecrets.com</a> .  A new little home for my lovely little blog. You might be wondering why. Well, lemme tell you, sugar. Basically my old hosting company blew and I lost the domains. That&#8217;s really it. And really, I needed a better domain. The-Spout and Tiaraclink had their time but its long, long over.</p>
<p>So, new home for me! Bookmark it. Add to your RSS reader. Whatever it is you do to keep up with me, change it. I may be looking for a new design, too. So stay tuned for that.</p>
<p>Ok, enough housekeeping. Moving on&#8230;</p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-540" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 10px;" title="bones-cast" src="http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/bones-cast.jpg" alt="bones-cast" width="217" height="215" />What in the god damn fuck is up with <strong>Bones</strong>? Everything I read leading up to this finale was all about how they were going to bump uglies for real but it won&#8217;t hurt their chemistry because it&#8217;s done so clever.</p>
<p>Um. There is nothing clever about faking me out, fuckers. There is nothing real about some coma-induced fantasy dream. THERE WAS NOTHING FUCKING REAL EXCEPT FOR THE TEARS BONES WAS SHEDDING WHEN BOOTH WOKE UP FROM THE DAMN COMA. I feel like a sucker. And I&#8217;m pissed.</p>
<p>Not too pissed to not watch the show, but I&#8217;m pissed. WORST finale ever. I died a little inside watching that.</p>
<p>David Boreanaz is still so lickable, though. He was dressed like Mike in this episode- blue button down shirt and a navy cabby hat. This of course prompted Mike to say that he&#8217;s a trend setter. He&#8217;s precious.</p>
<p>Also, I really tried to watch <strong>Daisy of Love</strong> for Monica so I could blog about it but I just can&#8217;t watch that muppet-looking bitch. She&#8217;s so annoying. So I&#8217;m watching <strong>Charm School</strong> instead. Episode 1: drunk Beverly ripped porn star Britney Star&#8217;s hair out. And it was day one. Hello, awesome. I will have some excellent blogs.<br />
Plus, I really like Ricki Lake. I don&#8217;t care if her talk show was total crap.</p>
<p><strong>The Office</strong> finale was kinda disappointing. I wanted Holly and Micheal to get back together.</p>
<p>This weekend should be fun. I&#8217;m hosting Rachel&#8217;s Bachelorette Pre-party at my house and then we are going shake our asses at a club. I&#8217;m making crawfish cornbread, shrimp dip and jello shots. Debauchery will ensue and we&#8217;ll have the flip video. I&#8217;ve not been to a bachelorette party in a while so this should be a hoot.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m loving the new domain. It feels like home.<br />
-Ali</p>
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		<title>Neal and Ali&#8217;s Lunchtime Adventure And Other Things</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/neal-and-alis-lunchtime-adventure-and-other-things/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/neal-and-alis-lunchtime-adventure-and-other-things/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 05:13:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://the-spout.com/tiaraclink/blog/?p=428</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today no one was at work. Between the flu and vacations and sales training and whatever else it was a ghost town. So me and Neal (the two people with no vehicles) were all &#8220;Let&#8217;s go to lunch! And lets go someplace we have to drive to!&#8221;. Fail. So, Neal&#8217;s all &#8220;We can take the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Today no one was at work. Between the flu and vacations and sales training and whatever else it was a ghost town. So me and Neal (the two people with no vehicles) were all &#8220;Let&#8217;s go to lunch! And lets go someplace we have to drive to!&#8221;.</p>
<p>Fail.</p>
<p>So, Neal&#8217;s all &#8220;We can take the bus!&#8221;. Hi. I&#8217;m from Kingwood. We don&#8217;t have buses there unless you ride one of them fancy commuter ones or a school bus. I have never in the 23 years I&#8217;ve lived in Houston ridden the bus.  So, Neal figures out the schedule and whatnot and off we go.</p>
<p>We wait. It was late. We start questioning ourselves. &#8220;Are we at the right stop? Should we go to one down the street? Are big losers?&#8221; Finally it came. And you know what? Not bad. Air conditioned. Took us almost right to the restaurant. We didn&#8217;t die.</p>
<p>We celebrated with fried pickles.</p>
<p>Biggest drawback? Waiting in the heat. Other than that, I&#8217;d do it again.  I feel like such an urbanite! Even in a car-riddled city like Houston.</p>
<p>Other things:</p>
<p><strong>Dancing with the Stars:</strong> I was totally sad to see Lil&#8217; Kim go. She wanted to win so bad. And she came off so sweet! So not the ghetto, pastie-wearing ex-con I imagined! I think Ty Murry is adorable, but homey can&#8217;t dance. Come on, y&#8217;all.</p>
<p><strong>Idol:</strong> WTF Paula? I equate that crazy shit with Brit-Brit&#8217;s VMA drug-haze performance from a couple of years ago. I LOVED PAULA back in the day. She had serious moves. I still think that quadruple switch-foot pirouette she did in the Cold Hearted video was one of the greatest dance moves, ever.  See?</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><object width="425" height="344" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/XN-Qq2umKZo&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XN-Qq2umKZo&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></p>
<p>Her performance was so SAD! She had no precision, no pop. It was like she was sleep-walking through that. Sleep walking while lip-syncing.</p>
<p>And Gwen Stefani? I LOVE HER. Why did she do that? She&#8217;s grown-ass woman with two kids, y&#8217;all.  It just looked like she was trying to re-live 1996. 13 years, man. That&#8217;s a whole sassy-mouthed teenager. You just can&#8217;t pull off &#8220;I&#8217;m Just A Girl&#8221; with a ridiculous faux-punk look at 39 with 2 kids and a designer clothing line complete with signature fragrance.</p>
<p>As for the actual contestants, I&#8217;m glad Gokey stayed even though he butchered both songs. I wish it would have been Chris going home, though. I liked Allison.</p>
<p>Also, I promised an Easter blog but it&#8217;s been so long I just can&#8217;t commit an entire one for it. So, we played games. We drank. We ate crawfish and alligator. MIKE ate alligator and didn&#8217;t hate it. (Crawfish is next!!! I will make him a Cajun before it&#8217;s over. Much to his chagrin.) The kids got tons of Easter goodies and went on an Easter egg hunt (in plain sight).</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s a few pics. Click for the full size! (Mike was the photographer so he&#8217;s not in any. Sadface.)</p>

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<p>Also, I set up a <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/">Tumblr account</a> if any of you darling readers have one, please add me:<a href="http://diva-ali.tumblr.com/"> http://diva-ali.tumblr.com/</a></p>
<p>For those who don&#8217;t know what that is, lemme explain. It&#8217;s sort of in-between Twitter and a blog. You get a feed like Twitter and you have followers but you can post as much as you want in a post along with pics and videos- but only one per post. You don&#8217;t have comments or anything, though. You can have a small answer box, but it only has like 140 characters. You can &#8220;heart&#8221; each post if you like it and it&#8217;s called notes. And really that&#8217;s it. It&#8217;s just another time-suck and way to whore myself.  I like it so far.</p>
<p>Alright, I&#8217;m out. I promise to blog more. PROMISE.</p>
<p>Hugs,<br />
-Ali</p>
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		<title>Nancy Is Such A Hater.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/nancy-is-such-a-hater/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/nancy-is-such-a-hater/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2009 03:18:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Decorating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Food]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Do y&#8217;all even know what that bitch did? She bought me a plane ticket to LA, fed me tons of yummy food, got me liquored up, let me hang out with Megs AND let me decorate her new office AND her new apartment. That girl is the devil. Just the absolute fucking epitome of evil. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: left;">Do y&#8217;all even know what that bitch did? She bought me a plane ticket to LA, fed me tons of yummy food, got me liquored up, let me hang out with Megs AND let me decorate her new office AND her new apartment.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">That girl is the devil. Just the absolute fucking epitome of evil.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">It all started when she asked for my input on her new office. I picked out some colors and gave her some  suggestions and she was all &#8220;OMG YOU HAVE TO COME HERE. I&#8217;M BUYING YOUR TICKET NOW, BIATCH.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And I&#8217;m all, &#8220;Sure that sounds fun.&#8221; I was at work and slammed. I couldn&#8217;t freak out too much.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Inside I&#8217;m quietly screaming &#8220;OMG I GET TO GO TO LA. AND SEE NANCY. AND EAT. AND DECORATE. AND DRINK. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Like, my three most favorite things in the world to do and I get to see Nancy to boot.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Uh. Fuck yeah!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">So, off I went for a 38 hour whirl-wind weekend with Nancy in beautiful LA.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">It was go-go-go from the time I landed. Momma picked me up and off we went to <a href="http://www.amalfiristorante.com/">Amalfi&#8217;s</a> for a late dinner.  Hello, foodgasm #1. I ordered a mushroom risotto that was so fucking fabulous I could have died right there totally happy.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Meg and her friend Natalie came to meet us. Hi. Megs is gorgeous. Nat&#8217;s a cutie, too, but Meg? Scroll down a bit and you&#8217;ll see.  We were too busy to take any pics that night but we got some on Saturday.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Next, we head to The Comedy Store. We drink. We heckle and join in the show. We keep it open past closing. It was FABOO. I finally went to sleep around 5 am which is 7 am Houston time. I was officially up for over 24 hours. Total college flashbacks.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">So, around 11:oo we finally drag our fabulous asses out of bed. And we are hungry. There is a place in LA called <a href="http://www.thegriddlecafe.com/">The Griddle</a> that I&#8217;ve heard all about. Incredible food and possible celeb watching. Sadly, no celebs. But OMG THE FOOD. Totally worth the wait, y&#8217;all. Aren&#8217;t we cute waiting?</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-408" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="wall" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/wall.jpg" alt="wall" width="360" height="480" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">We had a fatgirl feast. I got some sort of mexican scramble and she got a scramble with shrimp and pesto or something. Delish. But that&#8217;s not the best part. We got &#8220;dessert&#8221; to share.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Butterscotch chip caramel walnut pancakes. SON! Foodgasm #2.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-409" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="pancakes" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/pancakes.jpg" alt="pancakes" width="384" height="288" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">We couldn&#8217;t even eat a third of them. OH and they had the best coffee served in a french press. Really, stupidly, crazy outstanding.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">After that it was decorating time! Her office is great, especially for a new company. The paint colors I picked out were PHEEEENOMINAL. We re-arranged her furniture and picked out some accessories. We didn&#8217;t take pics because we didn&#8217;t go back after shopping, but when she&#8217;s done I&#8217;ll make her take some and I&#8217;ll post them.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Then it was off to her new place.  Adorable. Granite countertops, hard wood and tile with a view of the hills, a pool and an elevator. We picked out some great colors for the walls and figured out where to place her furniture. And we really wanted to go lay by her pool, but there was some shopping and In and Out burgers and drinking to be had.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">We then got all cute and went to pick up Megs. We went to Boa so I could meet Nancy&#8217;s roomie Caleb (or soon-to-be-ex roomie since she&#8217;s now got her own place) and basically got tanked and people watched. Honestly, what the fuck do people think when they leave the house? I actually got a picture of one chick. The outfit was so tight that the fabric was pulling so much you could see through it- including the crack of her ass. And the shoes where awful. She couldn&#8217;t even walk in the stupid things.  The picture doesn&#8217;t really do it justice.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="size-full wp-image-412 alignnone" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="skank" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/skank.jpg" alt="skank" width="288" height="384" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">
<p style="text-align: left;">And here&#8217;s us: Me and two gorgeous ladies!</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-413" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="megs-ali-nance" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/megs-ali-nance.jpg" alt="megs-ali-nance" width="384" height="288" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-415" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="ali-megs-2" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ali-megs-2.jpg" alt="ali-megs-2" width="384" height="288" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-414" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="ali-nance" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ali-nance-300x225.jpg" alt="ali-nance" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-416" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="ali-megs" src="http://southerndivasecrets.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/ali-megs.jpg" alt="ali-megs" width="384" height="288" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">
<p style="text-align: left;">Now, let me please tell you. These two chicas have been telling me the entire time about bacon wrapped hotdogs.  We went searching for them the night before but had stayed at the comedy club too long.  Apparently, just between the hours of 1 and 2 am, these little vendors set up with a hotplate skillet thingy and all the fixins for some seriously DELICIOUS snacks. They take hotdogs, wrap them in bacon and grill them. You can add onions and peppers, mayo, mustard and ketchup. I had mine sans ketchup and let me tell you what, my friends. It was RIDICULOUS. So good. Especially to a bacon and hotdog lovin&#8217; girl like me. Honestly one of the best things I&#8217;ve ever eaten. And they didn&#8217;t skimp on those dogs. They were the big fat meaty ones.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">We drove around a bit more, through the hills seeing the sites. Ended up having to stop in the COLDEST grocery store ever to pee and get Tums. Got waited on by an old man who I swear has to be in the witness protection program. He was all &#8220;Ay, you got some heartburn? That&#8217;s the woist. This stuff right here will fix you right up.&#8221; I forget what all he was saying but I&#8217;m fairly sure the Sopranos was based on his life.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">We made it in about 4 and passed out.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I had to catch my plane home around 1230, so we were rushing like fools. I left a bra and my bath stuff there. Which is awesome considering I was going out of town the following weekend and had nothing to take with me. We were starving so we ate leftover butterscotch chip caramel walnut pancakes in the car. Cold. But still rockin&#8217; awesome. I&#8217;m sure we were cute shoving it in our faces at red lights.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And that was that. I got on a plane and came home, exhausted but so happy that I went.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Nancy, thank you for your hospitality and generosity. You sure know how to woo a chick. I HEART YOU SO HARD! MWAH!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And this concludes how I ate my way through Los Angeles.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Next blog will be all about Easter, camping, Madeline and Mike eating fried alligator.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I HEART LA.<br />
-Ali</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">
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		<title>And With A Swirl of His Seabreeze He Was Gone.</title>
		<link>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/and-with-a-swirl-of-his-seabreeze-he-was-gone/</link>
		<comments>http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/and-with-a-swirl-of-his-seabreeze-he-was-gone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Mar 2009 04:36:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ali</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pop Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://the-spout.com/tiaraclink/blog/?p=393</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Andy Hallet, &#8220;The Host&#8221; (Lorne) from Angel died today. If his name doesn&#8217;t ring a bell, I&#8217;m sure the picture below will if you&#8217;ve ever seen the series. His death was confirmed on both E! Online and Whedonesque, Joss Whedon&#8217;s website.  I figured I&#8217;d post about it because I know a lot of my readers [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Andy Hallet, &#8220;The Host&#8221; (Lorne) from Angel died today. If his name doesn&#8217;t ring a bell, I&#8217;m sure the picture below will if you&#8217;ve ever seen the series.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://toastie.st/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/lorne.jpg" alt="" width="305" height="400" /></p>
<p>His death was confirmed on both <a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b106789_Angel_Star_Andy_Hallett_Dies_of_Heart_Failure.html">E! Online</a> and <a href="http://whedonesque.com/comments/19687">Whedonesque</a>, Joss Whedon&#8217;s website.  I figured I&#8217;d post about it because I know a lot of my readers love the series, too.</p>
<p>He ws 33 years old and had a heart condition.</p>
<p>He was my age.</p>
<p>And so talented! I loved that he drank seabreezes and called people  pet names&#8211; especially Anglecakes. He could sing so well and his character was such a great addition to that show.</p>
<p>Poor guy. RIP.</p>
<p>I won&#8217;t be able to watch the show he same way again.</p>
<p>-Ali</p>
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