What in the fuck? Why must you spoil my bff homage to all things awesome with that little twat? A piece of my soul just dried up and shriveled.

New season of Celebrity Apprentice starring Brett Michaels and Rod  Blagojevich.

That’s the folliclely challenged leading the folliclely challenged. If you don’t know who Rod Blagojevich is, he’s the loser Illinois governor who tried to sell Obama’s senate seat after he was elected president. And Brett, well, there are some hot chicks on the show, so maybe he’s confused and thinks he’s getting his pee-pee sucked on another edition of Rock of Love. Either way, absolute fuckery will ensue. Rod is a crazy mother. I saw him on The Daily Show. Outrageous. This just gives John Stewart more fodder.

Cindy Lauper and Sharon Osbourne are also on the show.  GOD I hope Sharon and Rod get into it and she dumps a red drink on his fluffy mountain of hair.

This picture of Fergy, because, ew. EW a thousand times.

Bones, House and Fringe are going away until November and baseball post season is over.

Total sadness. Bones and Booth are thisclose to making out again and they pause. SAD. And I love Fringe. And House, too! Honestly, I feel Fox is hating on me a little even though I watch something on that network nearly every damn night of the week. CRY. Lets look at an Agent Booth  picture to soothe our pain, shall we?

Ah, that’s better. Somewhat.

I’m still on a freakin’ wait-list on Netflix for How I  Met Your Mother season 4.

I realize everyone wants to watch that awesome show (especially since the world has a boner right now for NPH), but Netflix needs to sack-up and get more copies. It’s been out for 3 damn weeks! So now, I’m just storing all of season 5 on my damn DVR until I can watch it. Eff, eff, a. thousand. times. eff.  Do you know how hard it is not to read spoilers, man? SO HARD.

One thing that’s definately right with the world? My niece playing on her new swing-set/fort thingy.

Houston. Unfiltered.

This is a new tumblr blog that Mike and I have started. It’s dedicated all things Houston-things we capture on our cell phone cameras, food we eat and the interesting people we meet along the way. It will be a little less sassy (and curse-word riddled) and more artsy and informative. Why? Well, why not.

If you have a tumblr account, start following us or simply add us to your rss feed!

Well, it’s taco time. Mmmm, tacos. Mike’s been begging for them so I need to get my cook on.

Adios amigos.

-Ali

A new Buffy movie without Joss Whedon or any of the Buffy cast and made by the same dumbasses that produced the first movie.

Dear Hollywood,

I know you fuckers have very little original ideas and hell, I’m all for revamping some old franchise and breathing life into it. HOWEVER, BUFFY ISN’T DEAD YET. ASSHOLES.

The premise is based on the idea that “unto each generation a slayer is born”. Meaning they can make a brand new slayer with new Scoobies and all would be copacetic. I’d be down with that, oh, in about 20 years or so.

However, they are still playing out Buffy Season 8 in comic books.  And Angel After the Fall. And Spike just got a new book. The series has only been gone for 5 years. And Joss won’t be writing it. That’s some bullshit.

Furthermore, how the hell can you have a Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie with NO GOD DAMN BUFFY?

This is my favorite part: The new “Buffy” film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching “Star Trek.”

Um. Star Trek was OLD. And the original cast is OLD. Some are gone. And it has seen several reincarnations already. And this was the first movie that made substantial money in the history of ever for that franchise. And JJ Abrahms kept the same characters and told their story from a different perspective.

THIS IS SO NOT THE SAME THING YOU FUCKING JACKASSES.

They are trampling on sacred ground, here. I will not have it. I would like to barf on their heads. While kicking them repeatedly.

It is my personal mission to stop this ridiculous shit.

-Ali

Every girl needs one and this is mine.

This is my new comforter set. I had given my bedroom a little facelift about a year ago when Linen N Things went out of business. For less than $100 or so, I bought a duvet, throw pillows, lamp shades and table clothe thingy. Instant makeover. I stayed in the same color family, just updated the look.

However, no one told me what a BITCH duvet covers are. Every day we’d wake up and somehow the comforter inside the damn thing would bunch up on my side and Mike would only have the duvet itself covering him. Then he’d cry because he’s cold and never has enough covers and lord KNOWS I can’t deal with the tears.

So, I’ve been looking for about 6 months for a good deal in the right colors and FINALLY. Found this on sale at JCPenny for like 60% off, plus a coupon and I had a gift card. Happy early-birthday to me!

Ain’t it pretty, y’all? You can’t see all that well, but there is the obvious gold and chocolate but there is some rose and sage, too.  It’s good quality, too, which was one thing I was looking for. Pretty as that duvet was it’s total crap. The last set I had was pretty expensive but it lasted for about 7 years. The comforter was really heavy and I wanted the same thing.  This one isn’t quite as heavy, but it’s close.

So, this is my new happy place. And I need it. I was really looking forward to the holiday weekend. I wanted to do nothing. I was going to work from home for about a half day Friday and not think about it until my 7:30 conference call on Tuesday. Well, that went to shit when an emergency came up. So, I worked until about 10 pm on Friday, tried to finish Saturday but Google maintenance made that impossible. So I finished today.

Lucky for me, 3 of my awesome team members came in to help. Normally, this is something I handle on my own but it was so overwhelming that I would have taken the whole weekend. It still took 4 people working 6 hours straight to get it all finished today. So, I’m very lucky for my work people because otherwise I may have slit my wrists by the end of it.

So tomorrow sleeping in, heading to Sarah’s for a barbecue and enjoying the rest of the weekend.

I did make it out to see Terminator. What a pile of shit. McG had get all “Charlie’s Angel” on it. Since when in a post-apocalyptic war do the chicks have perfect makeup? Bryce Dallas Howard looked like a glowing lady of liesure instead of the wife of the leader of the Resistance fighting for their lives from machines. And just like in Charlie’s Angels, John Connor seemed to have super-powers. I mean, we know super-undercover-detective chicks can’t get all Crouching Tiger in reality. I don’t think any sort of soldier, no matter what, could pull off what John Conner did. Plus there were machines that lived in the water like fish. And a fucked up time-line that made absolutely no sense. And a dumb-ass ending all wrapped up in a pretty bow. Lamer than lame.

So, I’m off to my sanctuary. I’m gonna (try) to sleep like a baby.

-Ali

I grew up in the 70′s and 80′s watching cheesy Star Trek reruns with my dad. Captain Kirk and the crew in bad make-up  stomping around on hollow, sound-stage planets and enduring camera shaking blasts to the plastic Starship Enterprise.  I mean, we are talking top of the line, expensive, stinky-ass cheese.

As a kid it was somewhat interesting. It was usually the best thing playing on our non-cable TV on those long, boring no-friends-sleeping-over weekends.  We moved to Houston when I was 10 which meant cable and neighborhood kids. I quickly realized how terrible the show was and never watched another episode again. Nor have I ever seen a movie. I did watch a little bit of New Generation, but that was from a crush I had on Wil Wheaton. It quickly passed and so did my interest in the show. I’ve not seen anything Star Trek related since.

Until now.

I first heard about in Entertainment Weekly. They announced Zachary Quinto being cast as Spock. SYLER AS SPOCK. I just thought- Fuckin’ genius! (For you non-Heroes watchers, Syler is the uber bad guy who murders heroes and absorbs their powers.) Quinto has this incredible ability to keep a smooth, eerie calm to his voice no matter what the situation is. It’s deep and soothing while bone-chilling all at once. Add in his dark hair and thick, black eyebrows and it’s apparent he was put on this earth to play the new generation Spock.

Then I heard that this was a JJ Abrahms baby and I was hooked. After seeing Cloverfield I knew this new foray into the final frontier would be a spectacular ride. And I wasn’t disappointed.

This is an origins story. We see how Kirk and the crew came together. They aren’t the experienced men and women we’ve known forever. These are hot-headed, cocksure kids with genius IQ’s and lethal combat training.

Chris Pine’s Kirk is rebellious and fearless. And funny. And hot. Seriously so. Where Shatner’s Kirk had those crazy pauses and over-the-top grimaces of “thoughtful” looks, he’s got smart-ass quips, quick punches and is simply a smoooooth motherfucker.

Spock is smart and logical and methodical and all things a good Vulcan boy should be. But what Quinto brings to the character besides youth is a more human and emotional element. Spock is half human and Quintos performance really brings that forth. Even in the scenes where he’s running through logic, he’s more human and less robotic than Nemoy’s Spock. He’s more… real. There are nuances in his face that said it all.

The entire movie is more real. That’s what, to me, this franchise has always lacked. Plausibility. Not just the plot lines or the special effects, but in the performances, too.  It’s modernized and youthful and fast-paced and simply fantastic.

And for the rest of the cast- Simon Pegg was perfection. Karl Urban was dead on as McCoy. Zoe Saldana was gorgeous and sultry and brilliant. And John Cho was a great Sulu. Who knew Herold could be an action star? And Eric Bana is almost unrecognizable but so fierce.

Seriously awesome. I’m a big fan of bad-ass, special-effect overload, out of this world movies and this one is toying with knocking Transformers out of the top spot. And for those who don’t know how much I love that movie- I’ve seen it probably close to 100 times. I actually squealed when I saw the new trailer last week.

And yes, I’ll be seeing this one again.

-Ali

Fail.

So, Neal’s all “We can take the bus!”. Hi. I’m from Kingwood. We don’t have buses there unless you ride one of them fancy commuter ones or a school bus. I have never in the 23 years I’ve lived in Houston ridden the bus.  So, Neal figures out the schedule and whatnot and off we go.

We wait. It was late. We start questioning ourselves. “Are we at the right stop? Should we go to one down the street? Are big losers?” Finally it came. And you know what? Not bad. Air conditioned. Took us almost right to the restaurant. We didn’t die.

We celebrated with fried pickles.

Biggest drawback? Waiting in the heat. Other than that, I’d do it again.  I feel like such an urbanite! Even in a car-riddled city like Houston.

Other things:

Dancing with the Stars: I was totally sad to see Lil’ Kim go. She wanted to win so bad. And she came off so sweet! So not the ghetto, pastie-wearing ex-con I imagined! I think Ty Murry is adorable, but homey can’t dance. Come on, y’all.

Idol: WTF Paula? I equate that crazy shit with Brit-Brit’s VMA drug-haze performance from a couple of years ago. I LOVED PAULA back in the day. She had serious moves. I still think that quadruple switch-foot pirouette she did in the Cold Hearted video was one of the greatest dance moves, ever.  See?

Her performance was so SAD! She had no precision, no pop. It was like she was sleep-walking through that. Sleep walking while lip-syncing.

And Gwen Stefani? I LOVE HER. Why did she do that? She’s grown-ass woman with two kids, y’all.  It just looked like she was trying to re-live 1996. 13 years, man. That’s a whole sassy-mouthed teenager. You just can’t pull off “I’m Just A Girl” with a ridiculous faux-punk look at 39 with 2 kids and a designer clothing line complete with signature fragrance.

As for the actual contestants, I’m glad Gokey stayed even though he butchered both songs. I wish it would have been Chris going home, though. I liked Allison.

Also, I promised an Easter blog but it’s been so long I just can’t commit an entire one for it. So, we played games. We drank. We ate crawfish and alligator. MIKE ate alligator and didn’t hate it. (Crawfish is next!!! I will make him a Cajun before it’s over. Much to his chagrin.) The kids got tons of Easter goodies and went on an Easter egg hunt (in plain sight).

Here’s a few pics. Click for the full size! (Mike was the photographer so he’s not in any. Sadface.)

Also, I set up a Tumblr account if any of you darling readers have one, please add me: http://diva-ali.tumblr.com/

For those who don’t know what that is, lemme explain. It’s sort of in-between Twitter and a blog. You get a feed like Twitter and you have followers but you can post as much as you want in a post along with pics and videos- but only one per post. You don’t have comments or anything, though. You can have a small answer box, but it only has like 140 characters. You can “heart” each post if you like it and it’s called notes. And really that’s it. It’s just another time-suck and way to whore myself.  I like it so far.

Alright, I’m out. I promise to blog more. PROMISE.

Hugs,
-Ali

That girl is the devil. Just the absolute fucking epitome of evil.

It all started when she asked for my input on her new office. I picked out some colors and gave her some suggestions and she was all “OMG YOU HAVE TO COME HERE. I’M BUYING YOUR TICKET NOW, BIATCH.”

And I’m all, “Sure that sounds fun.” I was at work and slammed. I couldn’t freak out too much.

Inside I’m quietly screaming “OMG I GET TO GO TO LA. AND SEE NANCY. AND EAT. AND DECORATE. AND DRINK. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!”

Like, my three most favorite things in the world to do and I get to see Nancy to boot.

Uh. Fuck yeah!

So, off I went for a 38 hour whirl-wind weekend with Nancy in beautiful LA.

It was go-go-go from the time I landed. Momma picked me up and off we went to Amalfi’s for a late dinner. Hello, foodgasm #1. I ordered a mushroom risotto that was so fucking fabulous I could have died right there totally happy.

Meg and her friend Natalie came to meet us. Hi. Megs is gorgeous. Nat’s a cutie, too, but Meg? Scroll down a bit and you’ll see. We were too busy to take any pics that night but we got some on Saturday.

Next, we head to The Comedy Store. We drink. We heckle and join in the show. We keep it open past closing. It was FABOO. I finally went to sleep around 5 am which is 7 am Houston time. I was officially up for over 24 hours. Total college flashbacks.

So, around 11:oo we finally drag our fabulous asses out of bed. And we are hungry. There is a place in LA called The Griddle that I’ve heard all about. Incredible food and possible celeb watching. Sadly, no celebs. But OMG THE FOOD. Totally worth the wait, y’all. Aren’t we cute waiting?

We had a fatgirl feast. I got some sort of mexican scramble and she got a scramble with shrimp and pesto or something. Delish. But that’s not the best part. We got “dessert” to share.

Butterscotch chip caramel walnut pancakes. SON! Foodgasm #2.

We couldn’t even eat a third of them. OH and they had the best coffee served in a french press. Really, stupidly, crazy outstanding.

After that it was decorating time! Her office is great, especially for a new company. The paint colors I picked out were PHEEEENOMINAL. We re-arranged her furniture and picked out some accessories. We didn’t take pics because we didn’t go back after shopping, but when she’s done I’ll make her take some and I’ll post them.

Then it was off to her new place. Adorable. Granite countertops, hard wood and tile with a view of the hills, a pool and an elevator. We picked out some great colors for the walls and figured out where to place her furniture. And we really wanted to go lay by her pool, but there was some shopping and In and Out burgers and drinking to be had.

We then got all cute and went to pick up Megs. We went to Boa so I could meet Nancy’s roomie Caleb (or soon-to-be-ex roomie since she’s now got her own place) and basically got tanked and people watched. Honestly, what the fuck do people think when they leave the house? I actually got a picture of one chick. The outfit was so tight that the fabric was pulling so much you could see through it- including the crack of her ass. And the shoes where awful. She couldn’t even walk in the stupid things. The picture doesn’t really do it justice.

And here’s us: Me and two gorgeous ladies!

Now, let me please tell you. These two chicas have been telling me the entire time about bacon wrapped hotdogs. We went searching for them the night before but had stayed at the comedy club too long. Apparently, just between the hours of 1 and 2 am, these little vendors set up with a hotplate skillet thingy and all the fixins for some seriously DELICIOUS snacks. They take hotdogs, wrap them in bacon and grill them. You can add onions and peppers, mayo, mustard and ketchup. I had mine sans ketchup and let me tell you what, my friends. It was RIDICULOUS. So good. Especially to a bacon and hotdog lovin’ girl like me. Honestly one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. And they didn’t skimp on those dogs. They were the big fat meaty ones.

We drove around a bit more, through the hills seeing the sites. Ended up having to stop in the COLDEST grocery store ever to pee and get Tums. Got waited on by an old man who I swear has to be in the witness protection program. He was all “Ay, you got some heartburn? That’s the woist. This stuff right here will fix you right up.” I forget what all he was saying but I’m fairly sure the Sopranos was based on his life.

We made it in about 4 and passed out.

I had to catch my plane home around 1230, so we were rushing like fools. I left a bra and my bath stuff there. Which is awesome considering I was going out of town the following weekend and had nothing to take with me. We were starving so we ate leftover butterscotch chip caramel walnut pancakes in the car. Cold. But still rockin’ awesome. I’m sure we were cute shoving it in our faces at red lights.

And that was that. I got on a plane and came home, exhausted but so happy that I went.

Nancy, thank you for your hospitality and generosity. You sure know how to woo a chick. I HEART YOU SO HARD! MWAH!

And this concludes how I ate my way through Los Angeles.

Next blog will be all about Easter, camping, Madeline and Mike eating fried alligator.

I HEART LA.
-Ali

]]> http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/nancy-is-such-a-hater/feed/ 5 http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/well-that-was-some-big-blue-wang/ http://www.southerndivasecrets.com/blog/well-that-was-some-big-blue-wang/#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:47:43 +0000 Ali http://the-spout.com/tiaraclink/blog/?p=348 WANG.

OMG WTF with that big. blue. WANG?!?!?

Wha? Did you think I’d post it? NO. I just wanted to give y’all an idea. IT’S NOT THAT KINDA BLOG, PEOPLE. Just lots of cursing.

So, OBVIOUSLY, I saw The Watchmen this weekend. And I’ll admit, I called it the Big Blue Wang movie all weekend. But I don’t think I was fully prepared for The Wang.

3 hours of giant nekkid blue man and his colossal Wang. Plus some half nekkid dominatrix-hooker looking “superhero” chicks. Who is gonna believe that in the 40′s some chicks were running around in bustiers, fishnets, and thigh-high-platform stilettos? Tits and ass hanging out ALL OVER the damn place. For real? Even if it were acceptable, how the hell would anyone be able to fight in that get up?

And then they go and modernize her for 1984. Silk Spectre II, the original’s daughter, with some extra ho added in for good measure.

And on top of the costuming on the chicks, there are some wicked sex scenes. Was it truly necessary to get an extreme closeup of Night Owl banging Silk Spectre inside of Archie (the flying blimp thing they got around in)? EW. You could practically see his little hairs. That’s gross, y’all. Gross. I nearly barfed my Goobers.

It was total soft-core porn aimed at greasing up the geeky comic book fanboys. I’m not just talking about the film, either. It was accurate to the original graphic novel. It just cheapened everything about how cool the story is.The  plot was intriguing. I actually really liked the story- but all that ridiculous, over-the-top gratuitousness kills it. The fight scenes were sub par- I saw better shit on Buffy and Angel.

It was pretty.The cinematography was great- especially in the 1940′s era scenes. The glowey blue dude was neat-o when he wasn’t waving The Wang in my face. It was a lot to cram into one film and if you didn’t know the story prior to, you will probably have a hard time following it.

Also, we had some fucking fanboy goons behind us. Like OLD fanboy goons. Easily in their 50′s. They were loud with these super dumb  laughs. All through the movie they chuckling like everything was some super awesome nod to the book they masturbated to in their 20′s. It was all I could do to not get straight ghetto on them. SO annoying and much creepier than the Batgirl incident at The Dark Knight. I love comic book movies, but fuck. They sure bring out the wackjobs. Literally.

And now, the Daily Show summons me. Hello, Jon Stewart. I wanna be your bff so bad.

-LMAO
Ali

PS- MONICA. Hey, girl! I blogged for you! FOR YOU… *victory stance*

Anyone?

Bueller?

Right, so lemme refresh your memory. Billy Hufsey is the teen-dream stud who played Christopher Donlon on the hit TV series Fame. He also had a brief stint on Days of Our Lives and a guest appearance in Married With Children.

Still nothing?

Come ON people! He even made an appearance as himself playing a Vegas pit boss in the highly acclaimed 2001 movie Tomcats starring Jerry O’connell and Shannon Elizabeth!

FINE. This is Billy Hufsey:

According to his website, he’s “… a major league world-renowned performer whose combination of husky pop-rock vocals with skilled dance moves and artful musicianship (he plays piano, drums, guitar, all three saxes and trumpet) puts him in a category of One.”

A category of ONE! ONE, y’all!

The reason he’s back on my radar is because he friended me on Myspace. And it’s been AWESOME ever since. His blogs are so amazing. His non-stop-bulletinfest simultaneously drives you batshit crazy while putting you to sleep. And the myriad of comments he gets from middle-aged ladies who are “sexy” is downright creepy.

I will say that he did age well. See?

He wants to get back in showbiz, y’all. He made himself a youtube promotional video with his agents contact info at the end and everything. It’s 9 minutes long with the majority of it being shot at an AA convention. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

If you read his blogs, you too will realize that he’s making his dreams come true. He’s even helping other entertainers make their dreams come true by coaching them on what it takes to be a world-renowned megastar.

He’s even got a show coming up in a mall in North Olmstead, Ohio on Friday! Free admission! He’ll be singing Christmas classics (because its the best time to do so, according to his blog).

I’ve decided that it’s my mission to help Billy Hufsey make a comeback. I’m going to encourage you all to support Billy Hufsey and his dreams. I’m going to do my part by giving him “feedback” on all of his myspace blogs and bulletins. It’s the least I could do! I am in marketing, after all.

He’s even on Twitter! Follow him! http://twitter.com/billyhufsey

Billy Hufsey is making a comeback and I’m here to help. Y’all best reconize.

My darling friend Kristen called me Friday afternoon asking if we’d attend a party with her. In Missouri City. Full of people none of us knew. She met a guy she likes hanging out with and he was hosting this soiree.  But she didn’t know anyone so she wanted us to go to. She rarely asks us to do stuff like that so we went to support our girl.

This party was supposed to be a block party called “Rock The House” and some some upcoming “band” playing that was supposed to have a song or something on the Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist soundtrack. So it sounded promising.

Party started at 7.  We did NOT want to be the first people there so we had dinner at Pappasito’s first. Well, we had a little food with some billy-bad-ass margaritas. By the time we left, Kristen and I were on the road to serious drunk-assedness. Mike was driving and sober, as usual. We leave the great city of Houston and venture out to Missouri City.

And venture we did.

Y’all. I forgot that lil ol’ Missouri City was in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. And fuckin’ Mapquest sent us there on the scariest route possible. We ended up on some dark, desolate road that only had some weird little airport for crop dusters or some shit on it. Seriously, it was the type of road urban legends happen on. Any moment I fully expected a light in the distance to show up while a dude with a hook hand and peg leg starts beating on the roof of the car trying to get in. It was fucking freaky.

We finally get there around 10.  And guess what? Party was over.  We are trying not to laugh as we walk up to his house. There were still a few stragglers there, but the street was quiet as church.  Did I tell y’all this was supposed to be a block party? Yeah. Called Rock The House? Yeah.

We go in to this pretty brick suburban home and walk into a time warp. Sort of. Kip Winger was blasting from the iPod and middle-aged people were rockin’ out. Like, all 6 of them. Literally, rocking out. Homeboy who owned the house was throwing up the rocker symbol and singing. (By the way, he was wearing a “Rock the House” concert Tee. Pure awesome.)

It was like being at a party with my parents friends, only instead of Motown it was hair bands. It was weird, because there like 10-15 years older than me which really isn’t all that much- but oh, my damn. The two women there were total cougars. Well, one was and the other was sort of a wannabe cougar.  The actual cougar had long, blond, permed hair and a dress cut down to THERE. I saw underboob. Expensive underboob.  It was awesome. Wannabe didn’t look all cougar’d up, but she was trolling for some young peen for sure.  Those two were dancing in kitchen like they were in a music video and trying to flirt with “the band”. It was awesome wrapped up in awesome and tied with an awesome bow.

There was also some older dude who was so shitfaced that he kept telling us he was on his way out. He was still there when we left 2 hours later. He also had his hand on my ass twice and kept telling Mike “Oh Mike don’t like me” and thinking he was funny. He was looking for some poon while his wife was at home four blocks away.

Then there was the guy born in New Jersey in a town near Mike’s. he was going on and on asking Mike about places there. Places that don’t exist anymore. Because homefry moved from there in the 80′s or some shit. At one point he says, “Well it was there 30 years ago.” Mike’s response: “I’m not 30 years old yet.”

FACE old dude.

Now, for “the band”. It consisted of two little children/boy dudes. They just turned 21. They hangin’ with the old folks. They were a bazillion sheets to the wind. The cougars were nearly molesting them AND I never fully got this MTV movie story so I’m thinking its false.

So we got even more shit faced, made a lot of eyes at each other and stayed a couple of hours. It was fun in a weird time-warp kinda way. I mean, everyone was nice it was just totally bizarre.

We leave and successfully avoid scary urban legend road and make it home. Kristen and I then decide we are starving. So, back in the car and off to Jack In The Box where we drove Mike even crazier. I don’t know what all we said to the drive in lady, but I do know that Kristen announced that she wasn’t wearing a bra to everyone working that night. That’s my girl!

And to end this stunningly descriptive blog, I leave you with a photo taken by my very good friend Neal at Austin City Limits this weekend:

There are just things you never, ever do. I don’t want to see that much of any dude who isn’t about to slip me some hot Italian sausage, you know what I’m sayin’? GAH. I don’t even know what to do with this. Just enjoy it’s glory.

Stabbing myself in the eyeballs-
Ali

The reason this book is my favorite is because it was basically the story of my life. I don’t have kids and I’m about 10 years younger than the female character, but I experienced the same thing.  I was in a marriage that I shouldn’t have been in where I totally lost myself and became a person I didn’t recognize. He didn’t cheat on me that I know of (I have my doubts, though), but we pretty much lived separate lives the last 3 years of the marriage. I met someone that pretty much saved me and found out what that real love- that one that is so intense and real and makes you become a better person.  I did all those things in the story.

The story is so heart-wrenching and sad. When I read it, I cried for hours. At the time I knew exactly how she felt and I wanted a love like that. Now, I have that love so I think I cried even more. I actually cried through most of the movie.

I won’t say much more about it, but it illustrates how that real love changes people. How it’s so rare and precious. How liberating it is to find yourself and how painful loss is.

The only thing I hated was James Franco. He wasn’t in the movie much, but he had to deliver a really painful scene and he looked high. Or maybe I just don’t like him so it was hard to believe. Either way, he sucked. I’m glad his role wasn’t huge. Important, yes. But not huge.

So, ladies, go see this.  See how finding that right person changes you so deeply. Bring lots of tissues and see it with your girlfriends if possible. Mike was bored out of his mind.

I came home and then precisely put in my brand-spankin’ new Sex and the City DVD- extended version- and spent some time with the ladies. I want that closet SO bad. The dvd is great- it has a really good interview with Sarah Jessica Parker and director Micheal Patrick King.  It gave a lot of insight to some of the decisions they made and really showed thier love of the characters.  Also, the extended cut made it feel less rushed and gave a tad more story development. Not much, but more. I just love the ladies and was so glad to see the next chapter of their lives.

It was a great way to welcome in my first weekend of normalcy.  Well, almost normal. Still no fridge.

Also, check out this video Mike made with my niece while he spent the day at my sister’s last week. I’m totally jealous. She’s so effin’ cute its ridonklous. I want to eat her.

Enjoying the luxury of electricity-
Ali