She sold me on that solo. GOD, the pirouettes into a paused attitude. Hello?! THAT alone should make her the winner. And that PASO. Katie Swick, THAT is what I’m talking about when I say Paso is my favorite Latin Dance. That was easily the best I’d ever seen.
I think Brandon was great. I think [...]
Read the rest of It’s Jeanine FOR THE WIN.
WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE RESULTS SHOW OF SYTYCD (AND YOU CARE) SHUT THIS HO DOWN NOW. Cuz there’s spoilers ‘n shit.
100th episode! Big Katie Holmes buildup! The performance was ok. Singing was ok. Dancing was ok for as much as she actually did. I mean, that was EASY shit. However, I’d have actually [...]
Read the rest of Oh, Katie Holmes. You made Dawson cry.
That’s me. And lots of other plus-size chicks. Big chicks. “Real women”. What-the-fuck-ever you want to label us.
Personally, I like to call us women. You know, with breasts and hips and high-heels. Some of us have sass and some of us have shampoo-commercial hair. You see us every day, walking past you at the mall, [...]
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With jello shots, cake, dildos… you know, the normal stuff.
Highlights from Rachel’s bachelorette party:
Jello shots – 42 to be exact.
Lawncare – see the video for a demonstration.
Boob grabs – a whole lot of ‘em.
Dancin’ – like fuckin’ fools.
Sexual charades – I got to do cunnilingus and reverse cowgirl! Well. Not do.
Trip to a sex shop [...]
Read the rest of When The Girls Are Away, They Will Totally Play.
Missed me? You better have!
So… we are at a new domain: www.southerndivasecrets.com . A new little home for my lovely little blog. You might be wondering why. Well, lemme tell you, sugar. Basically my old hosting company blew and I lost the domains. That’s really it. And really, I needed a better domain. The-Spout and [...]
Read the rest of I’m Back, Bitches.
Today no one was at work. Between the flu and vacations and sales training and whatever else it was a ghost town. So me and Neal (the two people with no vehicles) were all “Let’s go to lunch! And lets go someplace we have to drive to!”.
Fail.
So, Neal’s all “We can take the bus!”. Hi. [...]
Read the rest of Neal and Ali’s Lunchtime Adventure And Other Things
Do y’all even know what that bitch did? She bought me a plane ticket to LA, fed me tons of yummy food, got me liquored up, let me hang out with Megs AND let me decorate her new office AND her new apartment.
That girl is the devil. Just the absolute fucking epitome of evil.
It all [...]
Read the rest of Nancy Is Such A Hater.
My co-worker Kevin’s job is to find awesome stuff on the internet. And when he finds truly superbly awesome stuff, he passes it out. I’m fairly certain he hit the jackpot with this one (even if he actually saw it on TV first).
This is an infomercial. Someone took all the good parts and chopped [...]
Read the rest of Are Mah Eyes Deceivin’ Me?!
OH MAH GAWD, Y’ALL. You know what I have to do this weekend?
Not a fucking thing. I am happier than a pig in shit about that.
I feel like we’ve been going non stop since October. Mike’s parents were here, Dianne was here (amazing that my liver survived that) then Christmas and we celebrated 4 times, [...]
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I was tagged by the lovely and super funny @katydidsays to do the Twitter 7 things post. Heck yeah! I love talkin’ about me.
1. My family loves to talk about poo and farts. Every dinner that the whole family is together- sister, brother their spouses and my parents, we talk about poo or farts or [...]
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