So… we are at a new domain: www.southerndivasecrets.com .  A new little home for my lovely little blog. You might be wondering why. Well, lemme tell you, sugar. Basically my old hosting company blew and I lost the domains. That’s really it. And really, I needed a better domain. The-Spout and Tiaraclink had their time but its long, long over.

So, new home for me! Bookmark it. Add to your RSS reader. Whatever it is you do to keep up with me, change it. I may be looking for a new design, too. So stay tuned for that.

Ok, enough housekeeping. Moving on…

What in the god damn fuck is up with Bones? Everything I read leading up to this finale was all about how they were going to bump uglies for real but it won’t hurt their chemistry because it’s done so clever.

Um. There is nothing clever about faking me out, fuckers. There is nothing real about some coma-induced fantasy dream. THERE WAS NOTHING FUCKING REAL EXCEPT FOR THE TEARS BONES WAS SHEDDING WHEN BOOTH WOKE UP FROM THE DAMN COMA. I feel like a sucker. And I’m pissed.

Not too pissed to not watch the show, but I’m pissed. WORST finale ever. I died a little inside watching that.

David Boreanaz is still so lickable, though. He was dressed like Mike in this episode- blue button down shirt and a navy cabby hat. This of course prompted Mike to say that he’s a trend setter. He’s precious.

Also, I really tried to watch Daisy of Love for Monica so I could blog about it but I just can’t watch that muppet-looking bitch. She’s so annoying. So I’m watching Charm School instead. Episode 1: drunk Beverly ripped porn star Britney Star’s hair out. And it was day one. Hello, awesome. I will have some excellent blogs.
Plus, I really like Ricki Lake. I don’t care if her talk show was total crap.

The Office finale was kinda disappointing. I wanted Holly and Micheal to get back together.

This weekend should be fun. I’m hosting Rachel’s Bachelorette Pre-party at my house and then we are going shake our asses at a club. I’m making crawfish cornbread, shrimp dip and jello shots. Debauchery will ensue and we’ll have the flip video. I’ve not been to a bachelorette party in a while so this should be a hoot.

I’m loving the new domain. It feels like home.
-Ali

Well. The ones who read this blog anyway.

Lords of The Loop

These dudes are totally anonymous. They live the Houston innerloop badassery lifestyle of twenty-something dudes with nothing more to do than hang out in pubs, watch sports and make fun of everything.  You know how much I loves me some makin’ fun of shit.

AND Y’ALL! They have an enemies list. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? I’d make one myself but lets face it: that’d be one long-ass list.

I so totally want to go to Cahill’s and find the Ewok.

D-Listed

Celebrity blogging at its finest. I may have already mentioned this site in a previous blog, but I don’t care. It deserves another mention. This dude is so crass and vulgar that it makes more awesome than all other celebrity blogs, ever. Here’s a list of nicknames he’s given celebrities:

Roided up Vadge- Madonna
Mophead- Cheryl Burke from Dancing With The Has Beens
Our Lady Of Cheetos- Britney Spears
Cheetolings- Brit Brit’s kids
Stepford Katie- Katie Holmes
Ty Ty “Smile wit yo eyes” Banks- Tyra Banks
Crackie of Camden- Amy Winehouse
Basement Baby- Solange Knowles
Blohan- Lindsey Lohan
Papa Joe- Joe Simpson, father of Jessica and Ashley
Asshole Simpson- Ashley Simpson
Wonkey McValtrex- Paris Hilton
Alien Princess RiRi of the Universe- Rihana

Those are just a few of my favorites. I now refer to some of these people as those nicknames.  Seriously, check him out if you like celeb gossip with a side of sarcasm, disdane and assholishness.

Houstonist

If you live in Houston, you should read it. Everyday. The amount of goodness I’ve found in this city because of that blog is ridiculous.

Dangerblog

Because my man writes it and, really, a lot of times it’s about me and I’m a total attention whore.

Ask Dr. Ding

The Dinger is a crazy Houstonian with a passion for bling and sass. She doesn’t blog as often as she used to but check her out nonetheless.

Visit them. Read them. Let’s discuss.

Spending the day watching Battlestar Gallactica…
-Ali

1. My family loves to talk about poo and farts. Every dinner that the whole family is together- sister, brother their spouses and my parents, we talk about poo or farts or both. It’s inevitable. We try to behave when new people are around but even then we usually fail. We just love poo.

2. I don’t want to be a mom. I can barely take care of myself let alone another human being. However, holding my niece almost makes me rethink that. When she looks at me and smiles she melts my heart a million times. Nanny Ali will end up being the sucker of all suckers. That kid will get whatever she wants out of me.

3. My brain goes a million miles a minute. I don’t sleep well because I’m constantly thinking of stuff. Stuff I need to do. Stuff that has me worried. Stuff I’m excited about. I sleep maybe a good 3 hours a night. I toss and turn the rest of the time. I wake up several times a night and just think. I wish I could turn it off. By the end of the week I’m exhausted and I crash and burn. I hate it.

4. I have my dream house built in my head already. I’m fairly sure I’ll never be able to have it. I want to live in this neighborhood in a cottage-style house. Small, cozy and perfect. Sadly that costs anywhere from $350,000- a half mil. Um. Yeah.

See, we live in an old neighborhood about a mile outside of downtown Houston. Literally our view is the skyline. There are shops and restaurants and everything awesome within 10 minutes of our house. My office is about a 3 minute drive. And the neighborhood is adorable. Old brick cottages mixed with huge old brick duplexes and new townhomes here and there. It’s just so AWESOME and I never, ever want to leave.

But, if I dream it, it will come, right? I’m going to start a wish book with all the things I want in it, Brit-Brit style. I think she had a wish wall, though. Whatever- she says you need to picture it, put it out there and it will come true. She’s the come-back kid, so I believe, Brit Brit!

5. I want to be famous for my writing. It’s hard to do that when you don’t write much, though. I’m just too tired and too stressed to really let the creative juices flow. And that sucks because I bet I could buy my cute little house with one book. *sigh*

6. Whenever I look at a person or go to a person’s house, I always think about what I would do to their hair or makeup or clothes. I redecorate their house in my head. It’s not that I’m judging or that I think what they’ve done is necessarily wrong, I just can’t stop myself from putting the Ali stamp on it. It’s a curse I got from my mother. Y’all need to realize that the first three channels I flip to out of our 400+ are HGTV, TLC and Style. I love watching makeovers and seeing pretty things and getting ideas. It’s ridic, honestly. I can’t believe Mike hasn’t grown a vagina yet from all of the chick shit that goes on in this house.

7. I have a favorite way to relax. It’s not drinking wine. Or reading. Or writing. Or watching TV. It’s having Mike tickle my feet. I love him to lightly run his fingers all over the bottom, tops, sides. Most people would freak the fuck out by that. Mike can’t even let me get near his feet without giggling like a little girl. Having my feet tickled can put me to sleep and just instantly relax me like nothing else. I like having my hands done, too, but it’s not as good as my feet.

I have other weird things that I like that I refer to as my “secret shames”. Only Mike knows about them. That’s how much I love and trust him.

OK. That’s my 7 things. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Now, who to tag…

I have no idea.

@hella, @diannerbannaner, @gollygeegidget, @nance_pants, @nikkibee, @estera, @rob_k_84

(gd)

The Planet Blog
The blog I get paid to write… amongst other things.