A Bowl Full of Crazy For Christmas. JOY!
What the fuck is wrong with people? Please, someone ‘splain this to me.
Now, about a year ago, some internet person I barely “knew” lied about some crap (shock!) and got busted. Of course, my friends and I made fun of him for a hot minute then moved on. This got his woman’s panties all up in a wad and she proceeded to email myself and a couple of my friends with a bunch of grammatically incorrect dumbassery that made us howl. I mean, y’all. A 4th grader could write better than this bitch.
So, of course we responded and told her she was a fuckin’ fruitloop. Like, I actually told her that. I thought it was funny! Anyway, we emailed a few times and then she sent one final email saying we were “Crazy internet bitches!!!!” only with more exclamation points. Almost every line she types ends like that. And, of course, we laughed. Hard. The End.
So, fast forward about a year to this morning. I log into Myspace and I have messages. YAY! Who wants to talk to me? Oh, this illiterate chick. The fuck? I had to do a double take because I thought Myspace was doing some of it’s evil fuckery and that I was looking at an old message or something, but no! Crazy bitch actually sent me a message.
She was letting me know that she and her man were engaged and then wished me a Merry Christmas. Oh, and she wanted us to be the first to know. Oookk.
My response: “Um. Awesome? LOL” What was I even supposed to do with this? Two total dumbasses that I don’t know are engaged. Whoodity doo! Like, was I supposed to be upset? Happy? Pissed? WHO FUCKING CARES? I haven’t even thought about them since last year.
I totally don’t understand. These people live in bum-fuck nowhere Indiana. I’ve never met them. I posted on a message board with her dude for years but really didn’t give a shit about him enough to have more than a vague conversation here and there ON A MESSAGE BOARD. Not even in private!
So, um. Awesome? LOL
We leave tomorrow for Christmas in Jersey. Mikey bought me a new Coach bag and wristlet. We gonna buy us a new hdtv when we get home. Madeline enjoyed Christmas and didn’t know what to do with all the toys everyone bought her. Wait till she gets her loot from Santa.
AND I’m sadly missing my cousin’s 14th-32nd birthday party (yes, it’s been that long since she’s had one.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EARLY DANI G! Au du Twat forever!
I hope you all have wonderful Christmases free from internet crazies and the like! Except for me, of course. But I’m the good kinda crazy so, FACE.
Hugs and shit!
-Ali
Girl. Hilarious.
I would almost feel bad for them (yes, THEM) if they weren’t so damn entertaining. I was shocked when I came home this afternoon to not one, but THREE messages from crazy’s other half (knowing now that she only used his account because I have her psycho-ass blocked). But I was even MORE shocked when I called to tell you and you started your conversation with “you’re calling about ***, aren’t you?” I had no clue she sent one to you, as well. And the whole ‘you and Dianne should be the first to know’? Really? Us? ‘Crazy internet folk’? I’m honored. Not. INSANITY!
What I do love, though, is the fact that she’s so good at the ‘ring and run’. She sends us messages and then blocks us so that we can’t respond. That’s mature, yes? She did it last year, too, when she started sending out-of-the-blue ‘stay away from my man’ messages. I just love how she sent me three today – about 3 hours apart – because I hadn’t read any of them. She was just DYING for me to know her ‘news’. Now I know and… well… she’s only made herself the butt of our new joke. Good job, Indiana.
I hope they have a LONG and happy life together. They obviously deserve each other. If Santa can hear me, I hope he can keep crazy out of my inbox from now on. Peace on Earth, Amen.
Or, you know… at least keep it this entertaining!
Have a safe flight to Jersey. Love you both! Merry Christmas. Fa la la la looney! :p
I HATE Indiana….
p.s. no clue who these crazies are, but the fact they live in Indiana cracks me up. At first I thought it was me and Josh and then I was like, no, because I didn’t do any of that crap. Just comes to show that Indiana really does suck. Fuckin’ corn!
Meg… you know EXACTLY who we’re talking about. Think hard. Once it comes to you, you’re gonna raff and raff! :p
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! ARE THEY REALLY…….who cares LOL
I love you! Toleldo Bend get ready to smell the twat!!!
Dianne, we attract crazy like shit attracts flies. WTF.
Yes, Meg. It’s THEM. Dun dun duuuunnn. You should move.
Dani- OMG WE GONNA ROCK TOLEDO BEND LIKE NOBODY ELSE EVER DONE DID! I bet it already smells the twat in anticipation of us.
I have no idea who you’re talking about, but I have dealt with the type before. They’re called “shit talkers”.
If I can make one wish this Christmas… I really hope she reads your blog.
))) Although that still doesn’t guarantee that she would UNDERSTAND that it’s about her and that maybe, just maybe, she should grow up.
oh, and one more thing. LOLZ.
Let me preface this with three counts of LMAO.
Count one: You said, “FACE.” LMAO!!! I do the same, but mine is always “faced.”
Count two: I hadn’t thought of “you fuckin’ fruitloop” in sooooo long. God that made me shit myself as much as I did the first time I read it.
Count three: … is as much as a WTF as it as a LMAO. Just…. wow. It’s been forever, and I honestly haven’t even thought of them since that bullshit went on. I’m sure the same is true for you guys, as well. God, we’re all so busy we can’t even keep up with each other, much less worry about some dumb shit happening 500 miles away. Good God… how sad.
You guys have a safe trip and an awesome time!! Merry Christmas!!
XOXOXO
Merry Christmahannakwanzaakah!